Sins of the Family by Beverly Hubble Tauke - Book Review

Book Classification : Family Relationships - Self-Help - Family Counseling


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Sins of the Family : Becoming the Redemptive Generation , by Beverly Hubble Tauke
Hardcover - 185 pages
First Edition, September 1, 2004
Published by SaltRiver Books
ISBN 0-8423-8697-1 / ISBN 0842386971

Book Review

Material things aren't the only sorts of things we might inherit from our ancestors. We can also inherit behavioral and emotional habits. Particularly at a distance of only one generation, we may inherit our parents' tendencies to be prejudiced, vindictive, physically or verbally abusive, and more.

Sins of the Family by Beverly Hubble Tauke is a book of self-help for all kinds of dysfunctional interactions among family members -- but not only the most severe examples. Just about all of us have some difficulty when it's necessary to say "no" to someone we love, etc. Of course, the greater the problem, the more urgent is the need for help. For example, relationships can be ruined by such "cognitive distortions" as jumping to conclusions, all-or-nothing habits of thought, and expections that other people "should...." [69] In some cases, a woman might have "learned" from an abusive father that men cannot be trusted." [15]

Buy the book Sins of the Family : Becoming the Redemptive Generation by Beverly Hubble Tauke

A unique aspect of Sins of the Family is that it gives greatest focus to interited habits. In fact, we may not have realized that we have some unfortunate behaviors which are remnants of our past experiences. We may need to think like detectives to enable ourselves to notice some of the facts about our families, such as habits which impact marriages , attitudes about nurturing children , assignment of scapegoat roles to certain family members, etc. [30-31]

Some of this reviewer's personal favorites among the book's features are:

  • "Master Your Memories" [43]
  • Integrity versus seeking approval
  • [70]
  • Chapter 6, entitled "Taming Family Tyrants." ..... "Bully controller tactics" [75]
  • Observing whether communication contains "death talk" [90] or "life talk." [91]
  • A look at "entitlement mentality" [94]
  • The "forgiveness formula" [112]
  • Appendix of fifteen "cases" which permit the reader to consider "Which response would you choose?" One of the cases deals with intrusive parents or in-laws. [161-180]

For example, consider family roles. You may have noticed that a member of your family has the role of "over-responsible", "over-dependent", "rescuer", etc. Some people may benefit (or believe that they benefit) by such roles; some may be harmed. Did the individual ever ask whether the assigned role is healthy? Also, who assigned this role, and how did they impose it on someone else? [68]

The book is from Christian publisher SaltRiver Books , a division of Tyndale House Publishers . Tyndale is a major resource for religious studies . "Faith families" will also find a chapter [9] by that title. [127-143]

This reviewer has a nonreligious family, and I feel it's significant to point out that the book's content will be useful to secular as well as religious families. While there are a couple of Bible quotations [114], these consist of philosophical advice concerning such matters as love and forgiveness. Where in a couple places the author uses the word "prayer", a nonreligious reader could easily substitute a phrase such as "contemplation, or any other means of self-discovery.", and the author's advice retains all of its soundness. Notably, in a few places, the author even renders advice about relationship problems that can be caused by "Bible-quoting parents."

In addition to her use of the narrative form, Tauke also did a nice job producing summary tables for points that deserve emphasis or review. See the table of "destroyer traits" [94], the listing of "controller-deflection principles" [87], and many more. Indeed, I'm understating the benefits of this feature; every few pages the reader finds an insert box with a summary outline that is clear and handy.

So in the event of blame, anger, defensiveness, imposed roles, feelings of entitlement, demands, manipulation, verbal assaults, vindictiveness, get yourself some "mental recalibration" and perform a few "mental and moral tune-ups". [67]

Book review by Mike Lepore for crimsonbird.com

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Sins of the Family : Becoming the Redemptive Generation
by Beverly Hubble Tauke
ISBN 0-8423-8697-1 / ISBN 0842386971